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Do
you ever wonder if you are suffering from the pains of an
emotionally abusive relationship? To find out if you are,
take the test below. If you answer "yes" to more
than three, you are in a potentially abusive relationship.
01.
Is your partner irritated or angry with you several
times a week (or more), although you do not mean to upset
them? Are you surprised each time they get angry? Do they
say they are not mad when you ask them what they are mad about?
Do they tell you in some way that it's your fault?
02.
Do you find that when you try to discuss your upset
feelings with them over issues that bother you they refuse
to discuss the situations or tell you that "you're trying
to start an argument?"
03.
Do you find that each time the issues are never resolved,
which leaves you unrelieved and unhappy?
04.
Do you frequently feel perplexed and frustrated by
their responses because you can't get them to understand your
intentions?
05.
Do you find yourself not so much upset about concrete
issues (for example, how much time to spend with each other,
where to go on vacation, etc.) - but more about the communication
in the relationship? i.e., what they think you said and what
you heard them say.
06.
Do you sometimes wonder, "What's wrong with
me? I shouldn't feel so bad?"
07.
Do you find that your abuser rarely, if ever, wants
to share his thoughts of plans with you?
08.
Do you find your abuser takes the opposite view from
you on almost everything you mention, and that their view
is not qualified by "I think" or "I believe"
or "I feel"? (as if your views are wrong and they
are right)
09.
Are you not allowed to say "Stop it" with
a punishment?
10.
Does your abuser either get angry or has, "No
idea what you are talking about" when you try to discuss
an issue with them?
11.
Do you feel like a child in the relationship, having
to ask permission and apologizing for your behavior? Do you
feel powerless and "less than" your abuser?
12.
Have you stopped seeing your friends and family?
Does your abuser criticize your friends and family members?
Does he complain about them so much that you stop seeing them
so you won't have to argue with him about it? Are you ashamed
to see your friends or family because of your abuser's behavior?
Are you embarrassed at having put up with so much from your
abuser?
13.
Do you believe that you are to blame for your abuser's
problems? Do you feel you are mostly responsible for the problems
with the relationship?
14.
Does your abuser try to take advantage of you sexually
or make unreasonable sexual demands on you?
15.
Does your abuser's personality change what he drinks
alcohol?
16.
Does
your abuser use "humor" to put you down or degrade
you?
17.
Does your abuser lack the ability to laugh at himself?
18.
Does
your abuser find it hard to apologize or admit they are wrong?
Does they make excuses for their behavior or always blame
others for their actions?
19.
Does your abuser usually get their way in deciding
when and where the two of you will go?
20.
Does your abuser control or disapprove of the spending,
but has no problems spending on themselves?
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